Sobriety Week 52- 1 year sober!!

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Well its official, I did it, I survived 1 year 100% sober, not even a cheeky glass of wine slipped in!! I gave up booze for 365 days and I feel very proud, seeing we live in a society that loves drinking booze as much as breathing air!

Its funny, now that I can have a drink, I don’t want one, I actually feel nervous, unsure how my body and mind will react when I have the first sip. Having not had one for such a long time, like a virgin, I want the first drink to be special, to be enjoyed slowly, in a nice environment, in the company of a good friend. When that will happen, I’m still not sure, I will decide when I’m in a positive state of mind and the moment feels right :)

I am grateful for having experienced a 12 month sobriety challenge, I now have a new respect for alcohol knowing that it’s an option that I can give or take. I have proven to myself that I can still enjoy life ( if not more ) when drinking sodas. But now, I look forward to being able to choose when I get to enjoy a glass of wine with family and friends. :)

Sobriety Week 51- Northern Territory!

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Yep, right now, I have the best job in the world! Getting paid to travel to the warm, sunny top end of Australia ( from freezing cold Melbourne ), to camp and experience Northern Territory outdoors with 55 wonderful students for 2 weeks, ) even sleeping in a tent, on the ground, I haven’t felt this relaxed and happy in years!

Every day is stunning, outback Australia captures my heart more and more each day as we explore and take in the history and culture of Darwin, Kakadu, Katherine and the open plains of Arnhem Land, home to ancient Aboriginal rock paintings and large, dangerous crocodiles in rivers below.

As I come to the final week of my 1 year break from alcohol, its feels timely that the last 2 weeks is spent enjoying life around 14 year old students who do the same without needing a drink! This whole experience of being 1 year sober has taught me so much, that life can continue on, just as wonderful, sometimes even more so, when your clear headed and no longer a slave to needing booze to give you a buzz that life can give you for free! :)

Sobriety Week 49- Ex Files!

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Since being sober I have ( most of the time ) been happily single. A friend told me 2 months in to my sobriety that it’s good that I was only going to do it for 3 months because if I wanted to get back in to the dating scene, choosing to be sober I would find it a lot harder, seeing men much prefer a girl who drinks. That comment has stuck in my mind all year and yes, there is a certain aspect of it that I found true when briefly dating back in February, but I also believe that when it comes to relationships alcohol can also be a disadvantage when choosing the right man.

The reason I decided to ditch the booze last July was because, with my ex, towards the end of the relationship I used alcohol to take the edge off the anxiety I was feeling when we were together. Right before we broke up I binged drank my way through every uncomfortable emotion I was feeling as I knew in my heart, we weren’t going to last, we were two different people, wanting different things, yet I still loved him which made the decision to call it quits incredibly hard. Alcohol is wonderful at clouding judgement, I didn’t want to believe it wasn’t working, I wanted us, life to be perfect, so instead I ignored my emotions and drank lots of red! 

It’s nearly been a year since the last night I got drunk and then quickly after, became single again. Time has past, I heard through a friend my ex is now in a new relationship and I have briefly dated ( unfortunately no fireworks for me ) instead I realised I found more comfort in being on my own to take time to process what really went wrong in my heart and my head.

Through the 12 months sobriety challenge I have learnt a lot about how I deal with difficult emotions that arise, that my gut intution is right on the money and I shouldn’t ignore it by getting drunk on red! I have now redefined in my mind what I need and can offer a relationship for it to truly work and now feel I am ready and available for exactly just that when it next appears. 

In the near future I honestly see myself falling in love again, a deeper true love, enjoying together all that life has to offer including the occasional glass of wine in celebration of the good feelings, not the uncomfortable feelings I used to fear.

PS. Just thought I’d visually attach to this article my future preferred partner… no harm in dreaming big? :)
   

Sobriety Week 48- Just have one!

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As the days of my 1 year sobriety challenge become fewer and fewer the temptation to want to drink booze seems to have amped itself up!! On holidays up north, catching up with friends and family, outdoors in warm winter sun, knowing I only have less than 4 weeks to go, the thought of having a cheeky wine and getting away with it annoyingly crossed my mind almost every day!

A close friend of mine even said, ‘Just do it, have a glass of wine with me, 11 months is good enough!!’ But I couldn’t, having come this far, one sip would have tasted like total failure!

So with friends and family enjoying booze around me each day, it got me thinking, will I join in and do the same in a months time?? Will I drift back in to old habits and drink wine again like this year of sobriety never happened, or will my relationship with alcohol change if and when I decide to have a wine again? Honestly, im not sure if I trust myself to do what is right, whatever that is… only time will tell ( and of course ill be sure to blog about it! )

Sobriety Week 46- Sacred Words!

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Thoughts, feelings, expressed on stage with a mic in hand, locals in the crowd clicking fingers when hearing the right words. It was a blissful experience, lounged on a couch, mesmerised by each artisits story with a warm soy chai latte in hand. Another night out in a bar, another night sober, it just feels so natural now.