Since being sober I have ( most of the time ) been happily single. A friend told me 2 months in to my sobriety that it’s good that I was only going to do it for 3 months because if I wanted to get back in to the dating scene, choosing to be sober I would find it a lot harder, seeing men much prefer a girl who drinks. That comment has stuck in my mind all year and yes, there is a certain aspect of it that I found true when briefly dating back in February, but I also believe that when it comes to relationships alcohol can also be a disadvantage when choosing the right man.
The reason I decided to ditch the booze last July was because, with my ex, towards the end of the relationship I used alcohol to take the edge off the anxiety I was feeling when we were together. Right before we broke up I binged drank my way through every uncomfortable emotion I was feeling as I knew in my heart, we weren’t going to last, we were two different people, wanting different things, yet I still loved him which made the decision to call it quits incredibly hard. Alcohol is wonderful at clouding judgement, I didn’t want to believe it wasn’t working, I wanted us, life to be perfect, so instead I ignored my emotions and drank lots of red!
It’s nearly been a year since the last night I got drunk and then quickly after, became single again. Time has past, I heard through a friend my ex is now in a new relationship and I have briefly dated ( unfortunately no fireworks for me ) instead I realised I found more comfort in being on my own to take time to process what really went wrong in my heart and my head.
Through the 12 months sobriety challenge I have learnt a lot about how I deal with difficult emotions that arise, that my gut intution is right on the money and I shouldn’t ignore it by getting drunk on red! I have now redefined in my mind what I need and can offer a relationship for it to truly work and now feel I am ready and available for exactly just that when it next appears.
In the near future I honestly see myself falling in love again, a deeper true love, enjoying together all that life has to offer including the occasional glass of wine in celebration of the good feelings, not the uncomfortable feelings I used to fear.
PS. Just thought I’d visually attach to this article my future preferred partner… no harm in dreaming big? :)